Welcome to South Park
by DarkMatterLord
Summary: Wendy and her family move to the quiet town of South Park. To the surprise of her though, the town isn't such a peaceful place. Stan and Kyle are best friends who known each other since they were born. After many years though, they start having some problems with their friendship. As the three go on with their lives, they will go through cross-dressing, perverts, and LARPing. AU


**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.**

**Author's Notes: I have just recently got into South Park, so sorry for some OCC characters. This also takes place in AU, so it will follow a different storyline (even though the show doesn't have one. Besides, it's a lot more normal, so it really isn't South Park, as a romantic episode in the show would include Cthulhu doing the Harlem Shake and Kenny getting stepped on and getting killed, even though they haven't killed him in quite a while.**

* * *

It was a quiet day in the small mountain town of South Park. The birds were chirping, the kids were playing, and one of the elementary school's rooms was on fire yet again.

"This is your fault!" said angrily a red haired boy named Kyle Broflovski to a fat kid named Eric Cartman.

"What are you talking about!?" answered back Eric. "I did nothing you stupid Jew!"

"You did nothing huh? Then, why is there a fire that is burning the room that may burn down the whole school at your station you dumb-ass?"

"You think I know how that happened? I will admit I have _accidentally _vandalized the school before, but I had nothing to do with this."

"Okay, first of all vandalized means you damaged property on your own will and second, why should I believe you?"

"Guys, I understand you two want to beat each other to the point of near death, but now is not the time." said there friend Stan Marsh, who was panicking at the approaching flames.

The two look at the flame before following Stan out of the room, each of them screaming as the flame came at them faster and more intense.

The three manage to get out of the building, seeing that the flame engulfed the entire building. "I bet people can see that from a mile away." said a astonished Stan.

Kyle only stared at the fire in disbelief. "Well, I'll admit even you don't do this much damage Cartman in such a small amount of time.

Cartman only nodded, too stunned at the sight to say some anti-Semitism comment. "Hey wait. Were is Kenny?"

Looking around the school, they saw everyone but Kenny in the area.

"Don't tell me he..." muttered Kyle, worried about his friend's safety.

To the relief of the trio, the kid named Kenny McCormick came out of the building with some burns, but nothing too life threatening.

"I'm okay guys." shouted Kenny, who's voice was muffled due to the fact that his hood covered his mouth and the fact that the flames burnt part of his face.

"Goddammit Kenny, you scared us." exclaimed Stan, who sighed that Kenny looked liked he didn't care at the fact that he nearly died.

"Yeah Kenny. Do you know how we would feel if you died?" Kenny just shrugged, leading to the two sighing at him.

Cartman was still staring at the building, the flames starting to get beyond the building. "Who do you guys think did this?"

The three only shrugged, as no one they knew would do this.

"So, what should we tell our parents about this?" Stan questioned. "I doubt they'll believe this until they see it for themselves."

Kyle looked at Stan and answered back, "We shouldn't worry about it. They'll probably see it on the news. Anyways, I think they rather know that we're okay and weren't hurt by the fire.

Looking at Kenny, he then says, "At least, not maimed. No offense Kenny."

* * *

Leaving the campus, both Stan and Kyle head to their houses, which the two are neighbors to each other.

"So, what do you think we're going to do now that school is probably canceled for a couple of months?" Kyle asked.

"Who knows?" Stan answered back. "Maybe we will be home schooled."

"Who would want to do that? Don't you remember that Cole kid? He was insane."

"I can't remember him. Was he that bad?"

"He held a knife to my neck. Yes, I think he's that bad."

"Well, I doubt that being home schooled would make you into an insane kid with a fetish for killing people."

"Should I ask why you chose those words for that sentence."

"I don't know myself, so please don't."

After deciding to leave that subject, the two talked about their usual things that included coming over to each others for a while, and going to the park to play basketball.

"So, are you going to try out for football Stan?" Kyle asked, wondering whether or not his friend was going to try out for a sport, since he's one of the most athletic guys in the school.

"Naw." Stan answered back. "I don't feel like it. It would take too much time off of my hands. After all, I'm already do baseball, soccer, and hockey. A forth sport would take away my time for homework, which I barely have time for anyways."

"Point taken. Though, why so many sports anyways? Why not just do your favorite sport like I do?"

"Dude, we both know that my grades aren't the best. The best I can do is a B. Since my parents are having some money problems at the moment, they said I should try to get a scholarship in sports."

"Stan, I doubt they meant getting a scholarship at the age of ten was they wanted and I also doubt that they want you to push yourself. Besides, you have pretty good grades anyways."

"Yeah, point taken."

Getting to their houses, they say their goodbyes and head inside their respective homes.

* * *

The day passed by, with every student in the school now either forced to still study by their parents, playing outside, and just gaming inside.

At the moment, both Stan and Kyle were walking towards the park after being called by Cartman who asked them to meet him there.

"What do you think Cartman wants us to tell us when we get there Kyle?" Stan asked his best friend.

Kyle only frowned at the thought of him. "I don't know, but if he brings up me being a Jew again, I'm going to make his face look like his ass."

"How in the world would you do that?"

"I'm just saying that if he says something about my beliefs, I will kick his ass. It's not like I believe he's the devil, but he's just a douche."

"Well, I'll agree to that. Though, I will admit he isn't too bad though. Don't you remember that one time in the first grade at the talent show?"

"I thought I told everyone that I was only seven! Besides, I also said that we would never bring that up again."

Finally getting there, to their surprise they see not only Cartman, but also Kenny, Butters, Clyde, Craig, Token, Tweek, and Jimmy.

Both Stan and Kyle looked at them in surprise, not realizing that they would all be there. "What are all of you here for?"

"I called them here just like I did for you two slowpokes." Cartman replied. "Anyways, we are here to discuss a new kid that's moving to the town today."

"Seriously Cartman? That's why you called us over here in 6:40 in the morning?"

"Look Kyle, I don't care how long you Jews sleep in, but this is serious! This kid is an unknown threat to us. From what I gathered, the kid is a girl, she is someone people somewhat get bored of quickly, and is not a pussy for some odd reason."

"How would you even now this Cartman?"

"You dumb-ass Jew. I got this info from Bebe after managing to seduce the girl with my god like looks."

Everyone but Cartman started twitching, thinking about what he meant by seduce, which when thought of brought horrendous images.

Shaking his head, Kyle managed to snap out of his disgusting trail of thought. "Anyways, why should I be concerned by some girl that's moving here?"

"I also learned that she has never gotten anything less than an A."

"Her having better grades than mine doesn't convince me otherwise."

Cartman slammed his fists on the table, clearly pissed off at Kyle. "Goddammit, this is what I get for trying to work with a dirty Jew."

Kyle balled his hands into fists, getting ready to beat down Cartman if provoked. "If you say something about me being a Jew, I'll-"

"What? Did you say something you dirty Jew?" Cartman went, feeling the same way Kyle felt. "I bet it was something about how small you dick is since your a Jew. After all, every Jew has a dick so small, it makes Justin Bieber's look like Chuck Norris's."

Kyle lost it and rapidly punching Cartman in the face, with Cartman flailing back at him, but missing every hit.

Kenny was watching the incident unfold, as the others got in the middle of the action and started fighting themselves. Then, Kenny saw a young woman in her early twenties, which the perverted kid then started to _follow_ her.

Stan was the only one not involved in the fight. He actually wanted to know who the girl was, due to the majority of the girls at the school were basically all the same.

Looking at his friends, Stan covered his face, sighing at the fact that the girl would tell her parents to move elsewhere after seeing any of the residents. After all, South Park did have the most _unique _people in the world.

Just not the _unique _people actually wanted.

* * *

**Sorry that it wasn't the best. I'll try to update soon. Please review this story and criticism is allowed.**


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